Thursday, November 29, 2007

Stardust Overdose

We dwell in an amazing, endlessly generous, and ever-unpredictable universe. For months now, months! I've been journaling about expanding my web & weave of female association ... written journaling, visual journaling, visualization/prayer, being sure to talk out loud & very specifically about all of the above even if the conversation was just with Zoe, upside down & purring & passed out in my lap. Maybe I've said enough on this blog already, in these 3 short months, to emphasize my absolute belief in synchronicity and the power of visualization. Really I can't function in 'future tenses' without visualization when it comes to Big Events, Big Ideas, etc.

So, last night, there I was, posting a blog entry, just my typical blog-bluster about some things I had observed, & I was in a great mood, too, when I wrote it. [I had just re-watched ALL of Suziblu's journaling videos, then played 20 minutes on the floor with I'm-Here-Ta-Shred-Ya Zoe.] Anyway, my blog sometimes feels like my 'aloud dialogue' with the universe, and helps me hone in on the specifics of my hopes, dreams, directions. Last night, it was definitely my way of doing a mandela without mandela-ing, savvy?

But ...whew ... (body tremor, it's been happening to me since 6:30 this morning) ...

Waiting for me this morning was one comment, which I just KNEW was going to be Miss V.

But no, it was ... (are you ready for this? because I most definitely was NOT!)

CLAUDINE HELLMUTH!!!!

She wrote: "I found you. I added you to my blogs links with the name Undertones here: http://www.collageartist.com/links.htm Happy Blogging!!"

I think I read it, then exhaled & didn't breathe again for 3½ hours except to say, 'Oh my god! Oh my GOD!'

How in the world did Ms. Hellmuth, someone of her caliber & immensity & amazingness & wowza & depth -- how did she ever, EVER, find my blog?

Honestly? Here is how it felt when I read her name & saw her photo attached to the comment: I felt anointed. I grew wings & launched (lurched) off. (This is honestly, exactly, the sensation that went creeping through my stunned brain.)

Ms. Hellmuth, I'm both very sorry, and definitely not sorry at all, for dehumanizing you here with admiration, but I feel like I snorted 42 lines of pure crystalline stardust. HELLO, UNIVERSE!!! in the form of such a gently-stated comment: 'I found you,' from you. And I immediately, also, sent an email to Suziblu, whom I've never contacted, to thank her for the influence and inspiration provided by her journaling blogs.

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My brother sent this quote, from a movie called 'Factotum', Henry Chinaski:
"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. it could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."

That's how strongly I feel about visualization, and involving the universe in all ideas, jokes, sorrows, plans, prayers, and parties.

4 comments:

Veronica said...

This is so true. I am so happy for you. Stardust Overdose..... what a title. I love it.

claudine hellmuth said...

you are too sweet! happy to have helped!! your blog is great. I can relate to the last post about being in the studio turning to loneliness. keep on blogging!

twinsand2boys said...

Thats so awesome she made your day like that! So, tell me how the google thing works? lol

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