My Fantasy Day, Today

I want to be tucked deep into the covers of this bed ... if I tip my nose and eyes out, I want to see Jack Frost designs on the window panes, I want to see my breath when I exhale, I want to stretch then dive back into the covers for 'only 10 more minutes'. This bed, this setting -- so simple -- is hypnotic to me. I know I could sleep here, surrounded by just wood & linens, a straight back chair. If you peeked under the covers, you would find my toes hiding from the chill in SOCKS. [I actually had to pause and ask myself when was the last time I slept in socks, camping not included? It's been SO long that I can't recall. That's just wrong. It should be evident by now that I am homesick for seasons in a serious way. Phoenix has only 2 'seasons': hot, and warm. I don't even own socks, except for short sports socks that I wear when I put on tennies and hop on the treadmill.] Pictures like these sometimes bring me to tears (like this morning) because I miss the ambiance, the air, the transitions, the PLACES that require these (SOCKS on feet)in a real way. In cooler climates, you simply don't throw your feet over the side of the bed and plunk them onto the floor, even if you have carpet. Ooh! Chills!!! No no, you either sleep in warm wooly SOCKS (sometimes the ones with individual toes, for your toes, remember from the 70's?!), or you have your slippers awaitin' for you at bedside. And see these SOCKS? What I also really want is a sweater like this, what are those called, a Fisherman's sweater? Freakin' have loved those all my adult life, but there is NEVER a need for one of those in Arizona. Today is October 15th, case-in-point, and I'm wearing a summer dress, sleeveless, and feeling quite WARM in my office. That's just wrong, too -- warm? In October? doggoneit. So back to my ideal day -- when I DO wake up, I have time (time? yes, TIME) to sit at my simple plank table wearing my SWEATER, slowly perusing a magazine or paper, sipping coffee. Time. Sweater. Slowly. Lovely words, eh? And you realize I didn't make the bed, I left the covers smooshed and wayward for when I want to leap under them, later, for a nap. Ideal day. Oh, can't you just feel the heaviness of the sun? In real Octobers, in real places that enjoy real seasons, the sun seems swollen in the fall and farther away, and the light is richer coming down. In the mornings, like this one where I'm sitting quiet, sipping something hot, the air & the light share a grey-white undertone, that hint of north, of winter just behind. I move from the table to the window seat, leave my paper laying behind (no bad news, not on this my ideal day), so calm inside, hot ceramic mug warming my hands -- but I would still be wearing my SWEATER! (although this robe looks lusciously thick) Birds, flocks of birds, sound of wings and departure, penetrating the glass. Finally, I can't stay in any longer. Leave a few dishes to soak, all of autumn is outdoors and summoning me (in my SWEATER). (And my SOCKS.) It's the leaves, I can't resist the leaves. I will rake leaves into a perfect pile just to jump & roll & duck & toss then start again. I will rake leaves together just to count the number of contrasting reds in the pile, or golds. I will rake leaves into a pile just to separate the pile by size of leaf, or type of leaf, or both. I love leaves, especially autumn's leaves. Do you see the cheeks on this lass? THAT is autumn, in effect. But I would be wearing my SWEATER, not a shawl -- still I want those cheeks, so I'm adding flushed, apple-red, rosy-chilled cheeks to my fantasy day. And I'm not a wimp in this daydream, I can take the cold in the air and the gray-weighted light ... (unlike reality, becuz I've lived in this desert so long I have the thinnest blood ever, no tolerance at all for cold anymore). But no, this is my fantasy, and in my fantasy I'm a hardy soul! I have a SWEATER! I have SOCKS! I have LEAVES to rake and roll in. So it isn't until the sun is really going down that I think maybe I might want to go inside, light a fire, lay my SOCKS (the ones I wore today, and a pair to sleep in) and my SWEATER in front of it to get toasty-warm, and heat water for a bath. No fantasy day in Toni's world is perfect without a bath, and I have found the perfect picture of my 'autumn bath'. A candle, a back scrubber, a fluffy towel, bliss. Bliss. My idea of it, certainly. Somewhere just outside the frame of this shot must be that delicious thick robe, because now that my SWEATER is off, I'll need to burrow into something else warm. Oh! Here is my beautiful shawl, crocheted with my OWN TWO "I FINALLY LEARNED TO CROCHET" fingers. .
I will drape it around me while I finish my dishes, and it will accompany me to the livingroom where I will return my warm & toasty SOCKS to my feet and pad my way to my bed. If you've been paying close attention, you'll realize that I was having so much fun outside in my SWEATER and my SOCKS with my leaves, that I never did come in to take my nap. Instead, I'll sink into my cozy comfie bed and read, something good but light, until I'm drowsy and can drift to sleep under the covers, with my SOCKS keeping my toes warm. And I'll dream of swirling, fluttering, dipping & weaving through the air currents like those beautifully-colored leaves I raked, already scattering in the evening winds.
[ALL OF THESE PHOTOS ARE FROM TOAST MAGAZINE, better even than ANTHROPOLOGIE, god I can't believe I just said that but I mean it.]