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PLEASE JOIN ME ...

2008-03-27T16:30:00.000-07:00

AT MY NEW BLOG LOCATION ... SEAWEED AND GARDENIAS

This is my last post here.

SBS 11 - Difficult Decision

2008-03-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

After quite a long, difficult deliberation, and not wanting to catch any of you off guard -- I am resigning from SBS 11. Essentially, because we all do our own thing then post about it (no challenges or trades or RAKs or interactions or mingles, etc.), I feel the SBS 11 group amounts to 20 blogs I 'must' read every day, or at least often. Lovely women & blogs, all, great art, but with my personal, professional and other artistic irons-in-the-proverbial fire, I'm just not willing to continue with that commitment.

Best regards and HIGH KUDOS to all of you!

My "Daily OM" - NEW BLOG ALERT

2008-03-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

I had already decided last night that I really NEEDED (not just wanted) to start a new blog anyway, that my mind, my art, my internal place have all been leading me in that direction. BE ON THE LOOKOUT, as the new blog creation is already under way.

Then, this morning, I received this "Daily OM" email.

March 27, 2008
Life As We Know It
The Status Quo
When our lives are going well, and sometimes even when they aren’t, we may find ourselves feeling very attached to the status quo of our existence--life as we know it. It is a very human tendency to resist change as though it were possible to simply decide not to do it, or have it in our lives. But change will come and the status quo will go, sooner or later, with our consent or without it. We may find at the end of the day that we feel considerably more empowered when we find the courage to ally ourselves with the universal force of change, rather than working against it.

Of course, the answer is not to go about changing things at random, without regard to whether they are working or not. There is a time and place for stability and the preservation of what has been gained over time. In fact, the ability to stabilize and preserve what is serving us is part of what helps us to survive and thrive. The problem comes when we become more attached to preserving the status quo than to honoring the universal givens of growth and change. For example, if we allow a situation we are in to remain stagnant simply because we are comfortable, it may be time for us to summon up the courage to challenge the status quo.

This may be painful at times, or surprisingly liberating, and it will most likely be a little of both. Underneath the discomfort, we will probably find excitement and energy as we take the risk of unblocking the natural flow of energy in our lives. It is like dismantling a dam inside ourselves, because most of the work involves clearing our own inner obstacles so that the river of our life can flow unobstructed. Once we remove the obstacles, we can simply go with the flow, trusting the changes that follow.

Oh Great ...

2008-03-26T18:47:00.001-07:00

It seems I've exceeded my photo upload quota for a single blog on Blogspot. Didn't know there was such a thing.

Now what, start a Flicker account and refer everyone over to that whenever I have pictures? I hate that.

Start a new blog? With my picture-taking obsession, that means a new blog every 6 months.

Once I figure out what I want to do, I guess you'll get to see the rest of the Chinese Cultural Center pictures, and any art I might do in the meanwhile.

I'm pissed. And I don't feel well enough to deal with this stupidity right now. I'm going to bed.

Chinese Cultural Center - Red Wood

2008-03-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

Kevin had physical therapy today, down by the Chinese Cultural Center, & although I left work at one to go home to sleep, as it turned out, alternative drivers to get him there and pick him up didn't work out. I had to go. I had to stay awake (it's too hot, already, to snooze in my truck while he's upstairs), but I couldn't tolerate the idea of trying to hold my head up for an hour in the doctor's lobby. So I took my MuthaCam along with me, and prayed the gardens would be unlocked this time. THEY WERE!!! Tri-corner red lacquer lacy wood. My favorite photo, this group. What an image/angle, as if the tree is riding in a boat across the sky, & dipping some of its limbs in the sky-water! Red lacquer, red lantern. Red lacquered eave [is that a dance?] Corner carving: detail Banana palm leaves and pagoda.
Wooden lace. Octopi-like roofline. Silhouetted pagoda wings.

Altered Book: A Sense of Place - Progress

2008-03-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

All of my altered book spreads got finished Friday evening and Saturday, except the sign-in page. The cover, just masking taped to death, then coated with white gesso. This is just a base prep; I won't do the cover until after it comes back to me with the other 3 women's spreads. On the left is the tag that goes into the sewn triangular pocket. This one is my favorite layout. These are the back sides of 2 vintage envelopes, which I stamped then painted in. The tags inserted into the vintage envelopes. The backs of the tags -- I mean it when I say I'm trying to lighten up myself, be more fanciful! This one is Double BB's favorite layout.

RAK, Doodles, & Doodle-Inspired Art Piece

2008-03-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

This is an Easter RAK I received from Jeri, who leads the An Affair With Art online group. Lovely, but fun, too! I am on a mission to lighten up my art, to step back occasionally from the literal kind of things I make. Saturday morning, I decided to take some sheets of bond paper and just -- scribble. Then I turned each sheet this way and that, to 'see what I could see' by way of shape & form -- whimsical, ethereal, suggested, fanciful. Lovely birds! That's all I was able to see in this sheet! Another of the 4 doodled base pages I did on Saturday morning. Voila! Some of the 'pieces' and/or 'forms' I saw in this doodled page. More doodle ideas. Notice, especially, the one in the bottom left-hand corner. This is Genevieve, who came to life in about 11 minutes -- but because she is such a lady, she still manages to look composed & elegant. I just had to see what I could make with one of the doodled shapes, & Genevieve arrived!

I Want My Mommy!

2008-03-25T06:02:00.000-07:00

Started feeling wonky on Sunday. By yesterday morning it was all over - The Flu Had Arrived. When I'm sick, like this, I still just want My Lovely Mother's presence, her hand on my forehead gauging my fever, her voice saying softly, 'How are doing?' What I mostly remember about yesterday, though, is that I accidentally left the TV a) turned on, and b) tuned in to whatever channel it is that shows American's Next Top Model reruns, and so every time I woke up, I seemed to be catching the latest elimination. Lots of bawling ANTM model rejects. Lots of funky odd dreams as a result of bawling model rejects.

Today, my back is so sore from laying in bed all day yesterday that I'm attempting to sit up for awhile. It's not working because then my queasy stomach starts rising into my throat even though there's nothing in it, and my head hurts/pounds so much I only want to go lay down. I think today is going to be a very long day, but I can promise the TV will not be tuned into another ANTM marathon. ANNOYING ! ! ! P.S. Somehow, even in my stupor, I did manage to pick the woman who actually won the contest. This young lady's name is Saleisha, and I thought she seemed very Halle Berry-esque. That is a quality I would love to have more of: Halle Berry-esque-ness.

But first I have to go lay down.

Window Ledge Vignette

2008-03-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

This vignette, in our master bath, caught my eye as I passed from the kitchen to our bedroom. I don't normally see it at this time of day (1 p.m.), not even on weekends, and I immediately noticed the angle of the light. This is the bathroom Double BB designed and decorated, in white and gray, one black & white beach/dune grass photo, white accents and wood furniture, deep deep lilac towels and rugs. I adore this bathroom, it is so spa-like, so CLEAN feeling, so perfect. AND the only finished room in our fix-er-upper house. Seashells, starfish, and Double BB's ancestors. (Actually, the photo is one from the newspaper, a couple we adopted because we have NO pictures of Bobby's family.) Three white candles. Candle, open window, and fresh green oleanders.

My Secret Loves - Coming Out of the Closet

2008-03-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

This entry is solely inspired by the oh-so-sweetly fierce Beth. These are things I heretofore hadn't run around bragging that I love, but now I'm shouting them to the world!

I love:
The Carpenters, the Partridge Family, & even hollerin' Michael Bolton
blowing bubbles
farting INTO the campfire (& admiring my own gaseous plumes)
Herbie the Love Bug
Top Chef & Anthony Bourdain "No Reservations"
The Waltons, reruns, movies, anything
Having somebody else brush my hair
Big Stick Crayons & Cinderella coloring books
Barbie movies (thanks to Ciera)
Hugging my friends & loved ones, even if they're shy about it
Writing letters (handwritten, NOT EMAIL)
Making snow angels (which I have to do in the sand, out here in the desert)
Climbing into fountains & splashing
Wearing high heels, even tho' I'm already 5'-10" tall
Dresses/skirts better than jeans
Aprons
Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy storybooks
Hearts - especially necklaces & earrings
Going to places like Nordstrom's to try on formalwear, making the snooty saleswomen cow-tow even when I have no intention of buying anything!
Mumbling French epithets under my breath when somebody pisses me off
Drinking milk out of the carton
Checking out the titles on other people's bookshelves
Riding in the back of pick-up trucks
Sleeping outdoors
More whipped cream than anything else in my hot cocoa or latte drinks!
Eating whipped cream out of the can, actually!
Eating frosting out of the can, too, come to think of it!
Food fights (picture the scene out of Fried Green Tomatoes)
Kissing Scenes in movies
Benecio del Toro, the only other man on the planet aside from Double BB that I could NOT say no to
Being photographed, even though I always HATE pictures of myself
Dancing in my studio, me with me
Listening to music on the way to work and pretending it's me, in concert, playing that mind-blowing guitar solo or singing my lungs out!
Rubbing my palm across the sheen or texture of wood & stone

Ok, maybe that's enough for now. Beth, I'm waiting to see what YOUR list looks like (ha!!)

More Field Day - Oh, The Stabs of Nostalgia!!

2008-03-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

I used to love doing this with a big mud puddle in the middle. Why don't we adults get off our lard butts and do more of this? Giggle & carry-on & play games ... key word: PLAY!! Chris says Ciera is taller than everyone in her first grade class except one other girl, and also taller than most of the 2nd and 3rd graders. Well, consider: Chris himself (& his twin, Cam) is 6'-4"; I'm 5'-10", my maternal Grandpa was 6'-3" ... I hope she never never never becomes self-conscious about it! In this picture, it must be said, Ciera looks exactly like her Aunt Toni. Really strange sensation!
Strategizing? Scoping out the competition? Do they make bags big enough for tall adults to race?

Ciera's First Grade Field Day

2008-03-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

This just in from my bro', Chris: "Field Day was FUN!!! Ciera won her long foot race!! Her legs are so long, they other kids dont have a chance (not even the boys). Her First Grade class won the tug of war against all the First Graders AND her class beat the Second Graders!!!"

Altered Book: A Sense of Place

2008-03-20T06:40:00.001-07:00

[front] My on-line group, An Affair with Art, is now holding an altered book round robin. This is my first official altered book, although I do some serious remodeling on/in all my journals! Hence, some nerves and general quakings. Here is the first page (front and back), complete. I'm to do four layouts, then move it along (four women in my group). My theme is A Sense of Place ... to be a journaled depiction of wherever it is that each woman becomes herself, in the deepest way, feels most secure, creative, powerful. [back]

Wings 4 You: Accomplishments, Qualities, and Affirmations ("Who I Am Now")

2008-03-19T18:58:00.002-07:00

Synchronicities bloom and abound! Dame Carla posted another list of prompts, which I only now finished scribbling to myself about in my Journey Journal. I love it! I just wrote this morning, in my regular journal, that I wished I could get each subsequent prompt AS SOON AS I finished the prior one, and here she was anticipating me!

Prompt One: brainstorming a list of the things I've accomplished, things that have made me proud of myself. Now dig it, I'm writing all this in a regular composition book from Walmart ... each page has 23 lines, so I stopped at 23. I'm going to summarize, too, and just give you five.
1. Balance beam
2. 21 years of marriage, and my sons
3. Creative writing, visual art, 32 years of journal-writing
4. Adjustment to new places, people, environments, atmospheres (moving all my life)
5. My natural athletic ability, i.e. great dancer, good at almost any sport, that sort of thing

Prompt Two: Recognize and list the personal qualities I have that make these accomplishments possible These five are listed in the order of how many times each of them appeared in my individual accomplishment breakdowns.
1. Open-minded
2. Seeking change
3. Risk taker
4. Work ethic
5. Laugh at self/sheer joy

Prompt Three: Write these qualities as affirmations of who you are right now. Start each affirmation with "I am" and write it in the present tense.
1. I am willing to put in the time, effort & personal sacrifice, for as long as it takes, needed to make & SEE progress.
2. I am brave and welcoming in the face of change.
3. I am an explorative, original, abundant & adventurous writer and artist.
4. I am happy to appear foolish in pursuit of my dreams, and I am an initiator.
5. I am articulate and fascinated by all manner of communication & contact, with others and myself. Affirmations take mental refuse, such as this, and obliterate it. Look at it -- it's nothing but weather-worn bits, disintegrating to dust under the slightest positive thought-breeze! Affirmations make clear the difference between building blocks and debris, and make mental house-cleaning so EASY! Who needs Martha Stewart (did I say that!)?

Dame Carla says, and I LOVE this, "You can use affirmations to positively mobilize your inner resources." And by means of such simple ingredients: Accomplishments, to Qualities, to Affirmations.

[photos: mine]

DJ Boo Bear

2008-03-19T15:19:00.000-07:00

This just in from Chris: "Ciera got gold "grills" for her front teeth ... "

Ohhhhh, Anthropologie

2008-03-19T07:03:00.000-07:00

Just got an Anthropologie email, with this dress on the cover. Inside description: Gibraltar's Gleam Dress: Like sunlight bouncing off rolling waves, a strait of polished trim dazzles below ocean-blue cotton and reflects the silvery stitching found along the draped sweetheart bodice.

This dress ... oh, this dress!

--------- I REALLY MUST LEARN TO SEW!!!!!!!!!! The catalog price is $178. Ridiculous!!! Just plain ridiculous ... I don't sew but I can recognize overpriced when I see it. The bodice appears somewhat complex, but the bottom is one seam between the two fabrics, gathered waist. C'mon. I could do this, with help.

Any volunteers?

Today's Message from the Universe

2008-03-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

"Take it from the farmer in me, Antonia... the more seeds you sow, the more plants we'll grow.

I love wearing overalls,"

The Universe

This has particular potency for me due to my history with overalls (which I, too, LOVE wearing, and embroidering on)

... & the more blown-out, frayed, faded & raggedy, the better!

[Googled image]

Wings 4 You - Affirmation Visual/Board

2008-03-18T06:10:00.000-07:00

Wings 4 You - Affirmations

2008-03-17T20:50:00.001-07:00

[all images Googled]
This week's Wings 4 You prompts involve taking our poetry writings from last week and morphing them into affirmations. Affirmations are HEAVY!! It's so ... unaccustomed ... to affirm myself -- & that being the point entirely. Dame Carla invited us to create five affirmations under the lead-ins of "I am", "I have", and "I can." We were also encouraged to write a sentence or two explaining why we wanted to carry these forward with us on this journey.

Without further ado, here are mine.

I am:
1) A force of nature (tornado): seeking stimulation and change, and resilient enough for any terrain. This is the essence of any journey -- curiosity, flexibility, internal strength, a kind of bull-headed determination to forge ahead in spite of obstacles.
2) Low maintenance & capable of going inward for my nourishment (sunflower): I have my own root system. So without support, or the awareness of others, I have what I must have to seek, to move, to progress. Essentials - I know the difference between Need and Want.
3) A map of my own creation: guide posts are internal, & not very easily master-minded. Will keep me on a forward, seeking path.
4) A journalist: I am aware beyond the usual. I see detail and I am discerning. Also, I learn on my feet.
5) Afraid of stagnation: this will keep me on a path that is also introspective, willing to self-analyze, and make adjustments as I uncover them. I take criticism. I HEAR it, & seek the nugget of the lesson contained inside.

I have:
1) Resilience: I'm used to new arenas, new people, new experiences, as a regular diet. I know what I'm capable of within those kinds of circumstances.
2) Height: by that I mean spine, boldness, confidence, and a kind of sure-footedness of intuition.
3) Multi-lingual expressive abilities & articulateness: pen, art, verbal, knowledge, intellect, information. Many ways of touching each experience, gathering it to me.
4) Rawness: I will do what needs to be done, take expressive risks, not so worried about appearing a fool.
5) An ability to hold mentally still for digestion and assimilation = growth: Everything is a quest. What else is there? What subtlety have I missed? What other conclusion might I have drawn? Who am I in all of this? How does that relate to who & where I want to be? What is needed? [This is a standard Toni self-questionnaire.] I can: [This one was the most difficult for me to complete.]
1) Negotiate any terrain, climate, or personality: My life has proved this to me over & again. I believe it as easily and fully as I breathe.
2) Provide for myself emotionally: see 1 above. I'm usually alone, doing just that. But I can also connect, & well. People also seek me out for that, as a listener, for advice.
3) Travel light: Change of mental undies is easy, & I need water, a pen, & paper. I like to have coffee & fruit, the occasional pastry -- but I'm happy to eat bread alone. I prefer to bring back more than I take, although I give amply, too.
4) Express myself: with or without language. I can read/intuit people & environments. I can assert my presence or diminish it, as needed. I am NOT arrogant -- rather, I'm absorbed 'reading' my climate and all parts of it.
5) Be silent, when needed: I don't like it, but I recognize futility of contribution when faced with it. I can lay low, like a snake, but my tongue is always out, detecting.

Dame Carla's final aspect of this exercise was to create a visual 'affirmation board' to accompany these affirmations. Mine is presently in front of the fan, drying ... I think I envision one, possibly two, more layers, but tomorrow I'll post it in whatever stage of completion I find it. Heavy. It shouldn't be an EXERCISE of such magnitude & complexity & difficulty to make positive self-pronouncements. Why is it I could've done the converse, the 'negative', in 1/4 the time with twice the output? Something ELSE to ponder.

A Quote that Resonates

2008-03-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

March is Women's History Month. My Lovely Mother sent me a very long list of quotes by various females of note: artists, actors, authors, photographers.

This one, of all of them, has touched nine million of my internal alert antenna:

“Write what should not be forgotten.”
Isabel Allende (1942 -- ) Chilean author

She is one of my top 10 favorite authors; strangely, though, I'd never really read any 'quotes' from her. I spent a few minutes this morning on Ms. Allende's website - very interesting place to go. My favorite of her books, and yes, I've read them all, multiple times.

Cards from Class, & More ATC's

2008-03-17T07:41:00.002-07:00

These two are my favorites, and the closest to what I consider my personal 'style', just in colors and layouts. Same card, different message. I like the punch that looks like a rolodex edge, but the application I prefer is when you create the look of a film strip edge. Again, the same card layout, different message. I like the way the small flower punch kind of bent the shape, giving it some immediate dimension. Sweet, huh? Elephants are one of the few creatures I can always enjoy in 'cute' form. The ATC 'delirious', with the piece of underwear band & the PUGS tag? Double BB took one look, guffawed, & claimed it. Black socks, it was the black socks. I HATE when men wear dress black socks and shorts. Why do men do that? Instant libido killer. So of course in the name of marital harrassment & teasing, Double BB will very often peep around a corner to be sure I'm in the room, then strut out wearing some hideous combination of plaid golfing shorts, dress shoes, and the dreaded black socks! Eesh, blimey, & triple shite!!

The Personal Us

2008-03-16T19:22:00.001-07:00

After a day consumed with tasks that have us
passing in the hall, kissing fast
by the kitchen sink, then
moving along,
night begins to creep across the daylight sky. Soon enough,
you come through me, shaped like
new limbs shooting upward, wires
suddenly taut, alert to your presence,
the simple activities of day disappearing
in the beckon of your night skin,
your laugh that makes my heart arch,
the shift from passing each other by to
lingering, now, fingertips staying
connected all the way around corners of walls. Soon enough,
the task-marked gates that
confined & defined today's hours
sway open, shift away, disappear,
leaving me the unopposed view of
you, inside me.
Deep deep deep I linger,
here where you find me,
steep me in tenderness & indigo longings,
remembered moments birthing promises anew. By day,
you are the balance of
presence beside me, history & present,
joined forces, unity of effort.
By night, though,
all my inward glances turn sideways to you,
my vision altered through lenses of
the personal US. How you are,
how you look, how you summon me,
how all day long I miss your hands
on my face, our eyes that can't leave
a gaze. The richness of US!
So many years, yet still these
new shoots, ribbons
blooming ME ME ME loving
YOU YOU YOU, reaching,
reaching, reaching! & then,
from side-by-side
to the one we become.
You have taught me,
& brought me,
surrender, joining, a love that
can be this erasure of
anything but sensing you,
waiting for you, seeking you,
& knowing you are there. It is our time.
Come, now.

Given to an Uncertain Sky

2008-03-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

A day given
to a sky uncertain of sun or storm,
and so parading its moods of clouds
driven by breezes stippled with cold. I clean the bathroom.
I put groceries away.
I make a fresh pot of coffee. I choose a pen color,
knowing I won't capture
how the sky & my soul hold hands
on a day like this,
cavorting with atmospheres
internal & external, unable to stay in one place,
or hold one expression.
I surrendered a long time ago
[early morning]
to a dance with new tempos introduced
every other moment.
Let's play.

Toni Does Stampin' Up!

2008-03-16T08:53:00.001-07:00

I'm no longer a Stampin' Up! virgin (hee hee). Yesterday morning, from 9-noon, I attended my first Stampin' Up! card-making class, at a demonstrator's home who lives maybe 3/4's of a mile from me. The photo is of the table, as it was set when I arrived (early -- I was excited!) Denise (our hostess) sets a beautiful crafting table setting, doesn't she? The little red bags for trash, individual scissors and glue, a decorated mint saying thanks! There were 6 of us total -- one other demonstrator (new) and 4 ladies who come just to make the cards. The spot on the lower left, where the large catalog is? That's where I sat down, so I'd have elbow room on the right side. GOOD idea! Overall, I accomplished what I'd hoped to accomplish, which was learning something new: how to use Versamark ink, how to use a Cropodile, a new way of tying ribbon. The cards are nice but just really not my style - a little heavy on the cutesy (which I suck at and never gravitate toward), and I don't like the idea that the same cards are in possession of 5 other women. Every time I make a card, it's unique, original to the individual and the occasion. I was disappointed, too, because I'd finally gotten out of the isolation of my studio into the company of other creative women, but we were all so heads-down trying to keep up with the paper coming around, the punches, the inks, that nobody really chatted at ALL! And as soon as that last card was made, man! Those other women SHOT out of there. I was like, 'Oh, am I supposed to sprint for the door now?" I asked Denise, just like that. She laughed, "Oh no, you can look at the catalog -- did you have any questions?" Yea, like 12 million questions, but I knew she had another class coming and I decided f'get it, I'll figure it out on my own. So I scampered thru the catalog and ordered the scallop punch I'd already seen on the on-line catalog, and some blue patterned paper I loved, and high-tailed it out of there. I did take the MuthaCam but only shot this one picture -- I didn't feel comfortable later, and heck, there was no time! All you ladies out there who are Stampin' Up! demonstrators? Here's a suggestion: s l o w down !!! Probably 40% of what we did, I had never done before on my own, or seen done, and it was so turbo'd by me that I had to go home and mentally deconstruct each card to remember what I'd done and how I'd done it. Frustrating! And boy oh boy, if'n you're hoping for sales, please create a feeling at the end that it's ok to stay and look through the catalog at a leisurely pace. I'm sure Denise had NO intention of giving me the impression I had to SHOO ... I think it was just the mixture of me (the idiot) with these regulars who come every month for the class and who know the drill. Maybe all idiots should be in an extended class together, I don't know. I truly felt MORE idiotic when I left, and less inclined to go again.

Wah wah wah ... sorry. Ok I'm done with my suggestion box speech. Meanwhile, I'll post pictures of the cards tomorrow from work, where lives the scanner I use.

Wings 4 You - Challenge Response

2008-03-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

Dame Carla Kurt, of my beloved, inspirational, and faithfully followed Anonnyrie blog, has started a NEW blog entitled Wings 4 You Coaching, in which she offers weekly creativity coaching prompts and discussions. I'm doing a Major Snoopy Dance with feverish delight - true story. Below is my response to one of her coaching prompts. For those who don't want to bounce between my blog and hers, the prompt suggests "starting a poem that uses metaphor to express your ideas." The prompts are bolded, below, with my responses following.

In my past, I was ... an inverted tornado, ingesting atmosphere & debris, & claiming it all, demolishing internal foundations with the gusts of misappropriated guilt.

In the mirror, I am ... a sunflower with feather-petals and word-seeds, and I do not droop but undulate through earth, grass, sea, air, and fire, on my fierce Siren's tail. My breasts are perfectly risen & tipped, and my uplifted blueberry chin cocks sassily. My smile flashes teeth of arced moonbeams.

OR

I'm a tired peach, bruised and too long in the shadows of a bustling, over-extended tree, nourishment to others but useless to myself, oh -- but still, but always, seeded.

In my dreams, I am ... a multilingual map of destinations & arrivals, speaking books, art, paint, & pens, and clothed in idea-inked canvas. My rivers are ridged green fluorishes; my mountains are desires, dares, risks taken & paths only going up, towards the moon, or out to the edges of seas glittering with friends, feasts, & fire-lit dances. I am the map and the traveler; the question & the answer(s); the discourse, the adventure, the quiet turning tides shifting internal continents. I inhale ticket stubs & exhale poems & pictures for those to come. I am accessible. I am uncomplicated. I am salted breezes, & I echo the running hoof-&-paw beats, the exalted howls, of the wild, the free. I encompass coasts & villages, plantings & harvests, seasons, flavors, spices, & tornadoes. I bloom consumed pelts; my shoes are wishes overlaying bones. I will hold your hand, Follower, & we shall laugh -- EVERYWHERE.

In my stories, I am ... the vowels forming shapes & visions from loose letters. And I am the journalist, one step (or more) behind, capturing it all so nothing is lost, especially nuance & dimension where imagination abandoned its place. I am the full moon eye illuminating possibility, the coccoon of wind collecting exhalations and reassembling their details to give flight to sparklers, fireflies, & monsoon lightning.

In my fears, I am ... veiled to the point of blindness, muzzled back from speech, & cloistered from any action or change. I'm a column of stone weathering to dust & blown into oblivion by chance & the lives of others. I am unable to distinguish music or language, & all books have fed some mad bonfire. I am actually a serpent, belly-down in the dust of my own erasure, coiling ruthlessly into dark, closed tunnels, alone with my shadows and bloated by my undigestable potential. In my fears, I am errant hail melting in hot sunrays, easily evaporated, surrendering to my short fall. I'm a declawed cat powerless to fight back. Or I'm a mermaid encased in a desert-themed snowglobe.

======================

What I TRULY love is that these are weekly prompts. In a week's time, I actually HAVE time to participate fully, privately, utterly. Lovely. Lovely. Still Snoopy Dancing, I am!

Stunning March Inspiration Piece from Jean B.

2008-03-13T06:29:00.001-07:00

My online art group, An Affair With Art, does a mingle every month based on an inspiration photo or object. This is the piece I received from Jean B - it's a 'door pillow' - the ribbon says BELIEVE. I have a little stretch bracelet My Lovely Mother bought me from Avon last year ... the charm on it says BELIEVE in both English and French. I've worn out two of those bracelets, and now they don't sell them anymore. And now arrives this pillow -- synchronicity! The pillow will remain with me here at work, hanging just above my monitor along with my shell mermaid (made by my work buddy Greg's enormously talented wife, Gwen) and my mermaid 'untag' from another AAWA friend, Cher.

Polish Festival

2008-03-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

By hook or by crook, I AM GETTING TO THIS!!! Every year since I've been in Arizona, I've said I wanted to go to the Renaissance Festival. I arrived in Arizona in May of 1979, and I haven't made it to a Renaissance Festival yet. #&$@&^! I somehow manage to attend the Greek Festival at least every other year, which I attribute solely to my predilection for REALLY GREAT HOMEMADE BAKLAVA!! And I love to watch the dancing, oh my! I happened to see this flyer in my doctor's office Monday and grabbed one for myself. I think it's a good practice for a mutt such as myself to explore her various heritages, eh? I'm Irish, Scottish, French, Welsh and German ... but hey! Poland is close and Greece has Baklava, so I adopted THEM! True story.

RAK for Kevin, ATCs, & Canvas - continued

2008-03-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

Kevin received this day before yesterday, from my AAWA friend, Barbara R. in Oregon! Inside -- in the small photo, she's holding a baby bear -- wow! ATC's from last night -- I need to cut more bases now, and dig through my bits & pieces drawer, so I can start a few more. Whew, these faces. I have NO idea how to blend paints, so I need to find a book about that. Can anyone recommend one? But still, I love her face. Now comes the background build-up, then embellishments.

New Toast House/Home Catalog

2008-03-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

This is my idea of outdoor sleeping quarters. Wow. I call this photograph "Morning Grace."

ATCs, and Canvas Progress

2008-03-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

Two more completed ATCs, going off in today's mail to recipients who shall remain unnamed! Here, I need to put my figure in now, because I want to build up the layering around her. Because presently I'm an Anonyrrie 'disciple', after I put the gold wash on this, I 'salted' it, to create texture. Looks very cool - I already brushed all the salt off. Am just patiently working my way through some layers on this, to see what happens as they build up. (I use the term 'patiently' very, very loosely.)

Into the Wild

2008-03-10T09:19:00.001-07:00

I've read everything Jon Krakauer has ever written, including magazine articles. I read this book, Into the Wild, when it was originally released - I think in 1995? Because I think Sean Penn is outstanding as an actor, an autonomous mind, risk-taker, a free-thinking individual, along the same lines as Jon Krakauer and Chris McCandless (the subject of Into the Wild), I couldn't wait for this DVD to be released.

Cam, Chris, Mom and I watched the DVD Saturday evening, over at C&C's house. Brilliant piece, from music to pace to cinematography to timing to storytelling to casting. Brain food of the ultimate variety. A dialogue-starter, at least for all four of us. Below are quotes from the author, and director, evidently from their appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show. These quotes, which I just found this a.m., are so close to what I wrote in my journal that I did a few mental cartwheels in surprise!

"Even though he died when he was just 24 years old, Jon [Krakauer] says Chris's story should still inspire people to reevaluate their lives. "He almost pulled it off. I mean, he came so close to surviving this, and we'd never know about him. He'd have had a great adventure and gone about his life."

Jon doesn't mean that everyone should go off and live in the wilderness. "We can't live like him," he says. "But this message [is] about just doing something different. Get outside that comfort zone. Test yourself. Just don't be tempted to take the easiest path. Life is better when you step off that path, however far you step. Happiness is only real when shared."

Sean says he wanted to make this movie because of the things Chris believed. "I wouldn't have made this movie, I wouldn't have felt what I felt about this story if I didn't feel that we had become increasingly comfort addicted," he says. "[Chris] created an entire life in that short time, and I think the big challenge is to feel our lives while we have them."

RAK, TAG, and ATC's

2008-03-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

Here is a recently arrived RAK from Kathy W for Mr. Kevin! These are my awesome 'untags' from Cher, for the AAWA Tag Mingle! My leftovers/junk drawer is exploding, so Friday evening I cut a few ATC bases, then put each one in a ziplock baggie with some bits & pieces from the junk drawer. These are the first six completed ATC's, all of which are going out today to surprise several ladies in my art world!

A Burst into Spring

2008-03-09T17:36:00.001-07:00

& now,
blue skies pure as a glacier,
or a frozen wave,
sultry breezes just-cool-enough,
& Double BB's kisses,
familiar with that known heat,
yet grow new exciting wings &
lift me into the arcing sunrays,
through the light-laced clouds,
my heart-flight disappearing into warmth.
Oh, how he takes me
soaring across this spring horizon;
oh, how the woman I think I am
disappears &,
instead,
I fly with him, away, into each other.

My New Feathered Friend

2008-03-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

This sweet woman found me in Joann's on Saturday morning. Her name is Felicity, and as she tells it, she was among several feathered friends in a peaceful English garden, when suddenly the human decided to do away with statuary in favor of those stoooooopid round balls seemingly turning up everywhere these days. And so Felicity packed her valise and followed the currents across the ocean and into my admiring hands. She's so elegant, isn't she? Such a graceful neckline. Watching her new world. I can see that I will have to 'splain to Miss Felicity the rules: No one, but NO ONE, reads my new magazines before I do. And yes, more for the foot wars! Neener Neener, Miss V -- I'm in FLIP FLOPS!!!

Tag Book & New Backgrounds in Process

2008-03-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

I've had this accordion tag book in my drawer for a year. Suddenly last night, it leaped out and got me in a stranglehold, a full nelson, I had to say UNCLE! UNCLE! twelve times and promise I'd get directly to work on it. True story, I swear! The violet medallion is embossing powder on Mica ... boy do I like how that looks! I also have a plan for taming that wild ribbon, just didn't get that far last night. The sad-faced girl is stamped with permanent ink on a piece of palm bark, then embossed. And that little urn will have flowers growing out of it, too, or possibly a topiary.

Also began two backgrounds on pieces of cardboard I had laying around. This is how I'm learning to circumvent the dreaded 'drying time' -- just have 25 things to work on at once, and rotate them in front of the fan. Love the subdued feeling of this. I used some glass texture paste around the edges (click on the pic to enlarge and then you can see it), trying to create the sense of looking through a window. I have an idea, now, what this might become. I don't even know where this is headed -- and that's the part I love!

And here is today's message from the Universe: "Thinking, Antonia, is life's only variable. Everything else was settled a long, long time ago. Sittin' pretty - The Universe"

Twice in One Day! Thanks Gill!

2008-03-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

So this must be what it feels like to unexpectedly win an Oscar or a Grammy ... speechlessness and delight! This award is from Gill, my U2 besotted SBS 11 sister. Oh, but so many many wonderful blogs! The hard part is only picking FIVE to award!

This time, they are:
1. Cathy Cullis - a new blog for me but what amazing originality in terms of types of projects (i.e. today's long poem necklace).
2. Jeri - whose art is like a taser to my lethargy and bait to my muse; I'm trying to get her to make room for me in her broom closet so I can come out and watch her make art!
3. Mercedes - for such delicate, feminine dreams captured in her art, her journal pages, her thoughts.
4. Georgina - for amazing range, for paintings that are the source of all my poetry lately, and for sweet sweet emails!
5. Carolina - for unstoppable ideas, willingness to explain 'how to', fun fun comments, and a name I just adore!

An Award from Vicki - THANKS!

2008-03-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

This came to me from one of my SBS 11 Sisters, Miss Vicki - what a surprise and I'm SO elated! I am supposed to send this on to five people who make MY day, so here they are:

1. Beth, for inspiration and giggles.
2. Czina, for new perspectives, honest words, and pictures I love.
3. Gennine, for one of the most amazing journals I've ever seen.
4. Veronica, for sisterhood but also because she always somehow helps me push my borders, expand my margins, and believe I'm capable!
5. Jo, for a homey, tender & true blog and because I somehow have this sense that she and I have always known each other.

Final Prepped Pages - Highballs High Heels Journal

2008-03-06T05:40:00.000-08:00

Voila the final prepped spreads in my Highballs High Heels altered book/journal. I started this journal on October 5, last year. Wow. Adding the visual elements slows down my written expression, but opens up so many other dimensions to 'say what I want to say'. Since all the pages are ready for me to write, this book will no-doubt be finished by Monday. I want to go seashell collecting with this maiden - doesn't she look HAPPY?! This cute pooch was already an illustration within the book, but I hated the text around her! The stamps on the 'post' brads are from Columbia. I loved this wallpaper and paid $5 for a sample. THIS is what they sent. This 5x6 piece. For $5. Did I mention it cost $5? NEVER AGAIN!!! I might as well buy the roll for $24.99 and facilitate some more swaps, huh? But what a lovely journal page it does make. One of the B&W photos from my pal, Greg. I am constantly using that pile of pics he gave me. The gold is from a napkin sent by Patty. I LOVE it. This just HAS to be Zoe as she would be if she were 'human.' I love this plain woman in her housedress. I bet she's a hellion! I'm not throwing away even the tiniest of scraps left of the wallpapers Patty sent me! That mug shot, top right, just slays me with giggles!

Spring Blooms With Dreams

2008-03-04T05:26:00.000-08:00

My on-line art group, An Affair with Art, recently posted this inspiration photo [a pillow from Pottery Barn] for our March Inspiration mingle. The idea is to use the piece in any inspired way -- color, shape, pattern, all of the above. Here is my response, entitled Spring Blooms With Dreams.

Note: I am spending 30 minutes per day practicing drawing hands. Bear with me & soon enough my lovely creations will have hands to match!!

RAKs from AAWA Friends for Kevin

2008-03-04T05:18:00.000-08:00

Let me begin by saying THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to you wonderful AAWA women. Kevin was astonished & thrilled! From Miss Susan T., presently in Chicago and minus card-making implements! (& still she sent a RAK! What a woman!) From Ms. Cher B. in Spokane Valley, WA - this is the front. The inside of Cher's piece -- which is now the background on Kevin's MySpace! On the bottom are two of the six pieces inserted into the little pockets -- on the backs of all the inserts are quotes or comics. From Ms. Jean B. in Orlando!

Serena By Moonlight

2008-03-03T05:24:00.001-08:00

This piece is for Kris H. with An Affair With Art -- my take on a 'tag mingle' -- a tag that could not be a tag shape. So mine is a starfish, reflecting a moonbathing beauty -- the title is a play on 'Serenade by Moonlight', which is the sheet music used on the background.

"Imagine"

2008-03-03T05:19:00.001-08:00

My first "Anonyrrie-inspired" piece - completed.

Reflection & Illustration Friday: LEAP

2008-03-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

[all images Googled] Oddly, happily, and synchronistically, as I've been writing this word over & over in my journal for the last week, it turned out to be the new Illustration Friday theme word. LEAP. When I was a gymnast, my favorite event was the balance beam, and I was the definition of the word fearless. I was fearless because I was haplessly, hopelessly, completely in love with that apparatus and my own self, on it, over it, elevated by it, in tune with it. I loved the feel of the wood, the smell of the wood, the line of the wood, the rounded edges of the beam, the sensation of elegant, lifted flight whenever I even looked at the beam. Oh, we had our differences. I often sported big ugly bruises, twisted ankles, dislocated shoulders, callouses ripped open on my feet and hands ... but it was love-work on a relationship that was deeply personal to me, my sense of myself, my sense of what I COULD do, COULD conceive of being. And it was lyrical -- movement, trust, grace, work, practice, detail, athleticism, exhaustion, commitment, magic, and, yes: LEAPS. Lots and lots and lots of LEAPS. I was 5'-8" tall in 7th grade ... unusually and unpopularly tall for a gymnast. But when I leapt, it could not be missed -- certainly not by anyone watching, and absolutely not internally.

I haven't leapt, in that same oneness-of-mind-body-spirit, in a long, long time. My connections to and with visual art have been very grounded, like twirling and bouncing but on the floor exercise mat ... music accompanies me but there is caution, still, inside me. However, the adventures my art has introduced me to have slowly infiltrated my life, & strengthened my leaper-spirit, in larger ways, and now that I have reached a place that requires me to make a professional leap, I realize I'm ready, if out of practice. I'm scared. I'll frankly admit it. Sometimes a comfort zone is really just a place of habit, a place of 'settling for' and 'putting up with' because there's some kind of pay-off. For me, my job the last 3 years has been both of those to the maximum. "Settling for" a neurotic and profoundly unnurturing environment, and "putting up" with it because for the first time in two decades, I was working only an 8 hour day, and absolutely no weekends, and for the most money I have ever earned in my career. In the construction industry [my field], this kind of schedule for an administration position is literally unheard of. Ten hour days and taking work home, working at least one day every weekend, and more often than not BOTH days - that was my life for 20 years. Read? Plan a family trip on a weekend? Make art? Let alone write at any length in my journal that wasn't just gripe gripe gripe about work? Please! Fantasy! Fiction! Didn't happen.

But "settling for" and "putting up" with never fail to become toxic, and I've been swallowing the toxins to the point that my reserves are wimpish and weakened: my reserves of self faith, self esteem, professional confidence, eagerness for challenge, innovative thinking, autonomous professional behavior -- all of which coincide with & would reflect my interior, my art, and my writing. None of that sort of thing is invited or welcome where I've been. I work in an environment of individuals whose idea of progress is that nothing change, not one minute detail of any single or combined element(s). Truly: a living death. And, inevitably, even a strong-minded, change-seeking, risk-taking individual such as myself forgets what a leap even is, let alone that she knows how to do one pretty darned well.

The Universe sent me my ULTIMATE SIGNAL this morning -- the details don't matter and wouldn't tell the story anyway, but you know: it was the proverbial 'choke chain & leash that dashed the winged leaper's heart to the ground one too many times'. Only this time the leaper who is me realized -- "Hey! Wait one second, here! I CAN fly and why in the world HAVEN'T I been flying and let me go dust those wings off and root them right back into my spine where they belong. It's time for take-off."

I'm a leaper. Never again will I miss the signals: if I am anywhere, or with anyone, where I doubt on a daily, minute-by-minute, or ever-increasing basis that my wings are welcome, it is time to LEAP ON OUTTA THERE!!! Those wings have intuitive little spines & feathers & tickly air-sniffers and circumstance-testers on them, so whether I'm 10 minutes into a job interview or a conversation, I can trust the information they're giving me, trust it enough to act on it. And I can attest to the fact that when you strip them off to accommodate anybody else's comfort level, they set to raising serious hell in the closet where you hang 'em. Mine have been flapping, fluttering, twitching and swatting -- trying to restore my normal sense of flight & lightheartedness into me, for 2 years now.

They're going with me to work on Monday, where certain words and time frames have to be declared. Wherever I am, from now on, it's going to be that balance beam and me again -- movement, trust, grace, work, practice, detail, athleticism, exhaustion, commitment, magic, and, yes: LEAPS. Leaps into the future, the unknown, the place where discoveries can be made!

A Surprise from Teresa E.

2008-02-29T05:40:00.000-08:00

This enchanting little miss awaited me in the mail last night. She was delivering a message of welcome from Teresa E., with my newly-joined art group, An Affair with Art. As I told Teresa, I am adopting this wee lassie's idea of carrying a gold-glitter topped wand, albeit mine will be invisible! Isn't she wonderful?

Missy Higgins - New Music Alert!!!

2008-02-28T07:40:00.000-08:00

The first song is evidently already #1 in her homeland, Australia ... as for me, I discovered this on MSN's Listening Booth at 5:59 this morning and have been playing it over and over since. This first song, "Where I Stood", is conjuring floating, sad, urgent word-strings from me, and here I am at work where I can't capture them! Oh, this song is a beautiful beautiful thing!

My 'Anonyrrie Phase' Begins

2008-02-28T05:46:00.001-08:00

You must begin with Anonyrrie herself to understand from whence my enrapture came. This link will presently also take you directly to her February 22, 2008 entry in which she explains how her canvases are born -- as a journal page, an experiment with background, texture, color, whimsy, pattern, technique, media -- along with their subsequent transformation to 'piece'. All of this went down my creative throat like pure spring water. Yes! Yes, this is it! And so last night, I began. This background has 4 layers already. I'm starting to 'see' what it might become, but am holding back from predetermining anything! This is a loose journal page - I canNOT work on something this elaborate when it's attached to a binding.

Toast: Poetry Journal

2008-02-28T05:42:00.000-08:00

This is how one of my poetry journals progresses.

The Lost Children of Kenya’s Political Violence

2008-02-27T06:41:00.000-08:00

[Photo Credit: Bernat Armangue/AP]

Seeing this photo/article this morning hit me as if my piece for Illustration Friday: Multiple came alive. On one of the comments I received, the question was posed: "How much house do we really need?" I have so MUCH house - I look at this photo and ask how many of these lost children, or other lost children, or entire families, could I actually invite to share that space? We have rooms we don't even use except to stack laundry that awaits folding. Makes me feel so ridiculously ... frivolous, consumeristic, wasteful! And I wouldn't have to go outside of the US, or even beyond Phoenix' city limits, to find those needing help.

Toast Catalog: Poetry Journal

2008-02-26T05:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I posted this picture and presented this bound 'catalog' as my new poetry journal. I got a few questions about what that means -- will there be art? Is it a regular journal?
This is an example of what will become of these catalog pages. Because I find the photos within so evocative, so personal to my dreamscapes and daydreams, I'm just going to write out the poetry and/or prose lines that come to me as I contemplate each picture. Not every entry will be this long ... sometimes it's just a word, for now, but then later a paragraph ... as for adding art, I may do some of that to cover over parts of the catalog I don't respond to.

Illustration Friday: Multiple - Details

2008-02-25T19:06:00.001-08:00

Two beds -- sleeping how many? Thin muslin 'blankets'. One crappy window hacked out of the cardboard wall, covered with a strip of muslin. One 'table', for all activities? An attempt at brightness with the 'rug'.

Illustration Friday: Multiple

2008-02-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

Multiple: Multiple Family Home, in so many parts of the world.

Corrugated cardboard, muslin, brads, cut-up wooden matchboxes, acrylic paint, India ink, walnut ink, paint texturizer, twine, cut piece of wooden skewer as curtain rod, handpainted paper (rug, bed coverings beneath muslin 'blankets').

I've Been Tagged!!

2008-02-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by Sue at Lily Pepper!! Here are the rules:

1 - Link back to the person who tagged me.
2 - Post these rules on my blog.
3 - Share 6 unimportant things about myself.
4 - Tag 3 random bloggers at the end of my blog entry.
5 - Let tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Here are 6 things you never needed to know about me...

1 - While the majority of 'myself' is, of course, flawless, I am capable of wafting some seriously stinky feet [if left unmonitored]!
2 - For a while "back in the day", I dated Tommy Hearns. I also slow danced once with Magic Johnson but I didn't know who he was at the time. [But that dance is what turned me into a rabid Lakers fan all during the late 70's and 80's, though!] And I also have John-Boy Walton's autograph - NEENER!
3 - My ears are pierced three times each, and I've got a belly button ring. I also have five tattoos and I'm not sure I'm done yet.
4 - I'm petrified of snakes, and of heights - especially heights over water.
5 - I think sweet potatoes are God's worst creative and/or culinary mistake.
6 - I believe utterly in: Herbie the Love Bug, Mermaids, and the power of visualization.

I am tagging:
1 - Patty at Magpie's Nest - her blog is new to me, her art is slobber-certified!
2 - Juana @ Juana's Tiny Spacio - also a new blog to me and I'm savoring it slowly! Juana is also a fellow Arizonan!
3 - Gillian at The Fading Rose -- a third new-to-me blog and lush lush LUSCIOUS!

Altered Book: A Sense of Place

2008-02-25T06:32:00.000-08:00

The Yahoo group I belong to, An Affair with Art, will be having an altered book swap/exchange soon. I went book-hunting at Good Will and found 2 volumes I liked. My theme is from a song title I randomly read: A Sense of Place. Non-descript little cover, size is 5x7. And the backgrounds are starting to go in. So relaxing...

I have to say how surprised I am, though, that the 'sense of place' emerging from me is not an ocean/beach environment at all, but this garden of yellow roses, sienna & green & gold & yellow & ivory. I had no idea! that's what I would start creating.

New Poetry Journal

2008-02-25T06:21:00.000-08:00

Please meet my new poetry journal. I requested this catalog from Toast ... when it came, when I looked through it, I couldn't stand to hurt it, rip it apart, anything like that. So I asked my buddy Doug, here at work, to drill me some holes and then I put these sturdy brads through - voila! A journal! Every image seems to be directly from a mental moment, a dream, a fantasy, a wish. Below are some examples.

GO JAVIER!!!!!

2008-02-25T05:48:00.001-08:00

Desert Vista

2008-02-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

Tihs just in from my bro', Chris: "Here're some desert shots for ya'!

I went out by myself today looking for a WWII airplane crash site. Near Big Horn Peak (20 miles northwest of Tonopah off I-10). Was a big T-6 radial trainer out of Luke Air Force Base on a night navigation mission , 14 March 1945. Pilot got trapped in this box canyon and crashed - he didn't survive.

Closest I could get to it in the truck was 2.5 miles over 4-wheel drive roads. Hiking in, I had to cross numerous deep gullies and ravines. The last one below the crash site was like the autobahn with 80-100 foot cliffs on either side.

Neatest thing was the huge cholla cactus ("jumping cactus") forest I had to cross. It was a half-mile wide & long. I have so many cholla thorns in my boots it'll take me an hour to pull them all out! I havent seen a cholla forest this thick before. See the photo and you'll know what I mean.

Big Horn Peak looks more like a Big Hoof to me.... But it is very stark and ominous -- shoots out of the desert floor straight up. It is so steep I could barely keep my footing. The upper half is just pure cliffs. You can see it easily from I-10 west of Tonopah on the way to L.A.

The airplane appears to have impacted in a slight, level climb, actually impacting twice, then flipping over off with it's nose inverted. He was 400-500+ feet from clearing the mountains and didn't have a chance.

Must've been a moonless night..." Big Horn Peak. The Cholla Forest. Crash site. The final resting place for this airman. Close-up of wreckage.

ATTENTION SBS 11 SISTAHS

2008-02-23T09:34:00.001-08:00

Now that we have our group solidified, I'm going to re-issue a request I made earlier.

I'd like to assemble a list of everyone's emails, favorite colors, things we each love, collect, etc., and mailing addresses. I have heard from a couple of you, but I'm sending this out again and hoping for a response from everyone. You can email your info privately at antoniafufu@yahoo.com

My Current 'Community' of Books - for Theresa K.

2008-02-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

Theresa K. left such an insightful comment to me recently: "Don't you just hate it when a funk settles over your spirit? What have you been reading? What have you been doing to get your "happy" back? I'm intriqued by your idea of something "gestating." I like to reread my journals to track the thought processes that preceeded the big events and the births of special things that have happened in my life. I wonder what is gestating in your life right now. Isn't it interesting how often difficult times are followed by spurts of mental/spiritual awakenings?" I just love how many directions my mind traveled, after reading that. Just the suggestion to go re-read my journals -- something I rarely, if ever, do, except for use in creative writings ... what a phenomenally great idea for finding the path that brought me 'here'.

So, in answer to at least one of her questions, below are pictures of the covers of the five books I'm head-down into right now. Talk about synchronicity. I was invited to join an online group called An Affair with Art, and the current project I'm stepping into (by orders of their leader, Jeri, also one of my SBS 11 sistahs) is an altered book. This is a captivatingly lighthearted presentation of some serious creativity nuggets. What an amazing author! And this? This is the one book I can't live without, the one book I would take if I were to be stranded on a desert island, the book I intend at some point to do an entire series of art pieces about.

Note: I just ordered a used hardback copy of this off Amazon, and I'm going to use it for my altered book for An Affair With Art. Never mind 'at some point' -- NOW is the time to start arting my responses to this amazing story.

Word Verification

2008-02-23T07:57:00.001-08:00

I had to give in and add 'word verification' to my comment settings -- I've been getting hit with several obnoxious spam comments. I had hoped to avoid this but alas! Just wanted to give everyone a head's up.

In the Morning

2008-02-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

In the morning, the prayer blooms, grace arrived from a much-needed dreamless sleep through to a dawn potent with glittering hope, sparkling ideas, notes from friends, the welcome swat of my kitten's paw. How different seems the sky now. A new light illuminates my vine-tangled corners, and sings & sings like all the birds, up early in the trees. I feel awakened, awakened.

Inside Phoenix, & Me

2008-02-22T15:46:00.000-08:00

Rain. A winter-Williamsburg sky, like raw pewter being hammered, and with scraps of lint from the artisan's polishing cloth scattered thru. Misty, like my thoughts. And strange, alien shapes, pods of unopened growth, scratching the horizon, obscuring the view, but there. There. Coming along slowly. Maybe the rain, watering them, will finally open them, revealing me to me.

Surprise from SBS 11 Sistah Carla!

2008-02-22T05:19:00.000-08:00

Look what was waiting for me in the mail last night! I didn't open it until this morning because I was running around with my two male children. I'm taking this as a sign -- "All Fired Up" -- that my Mojo is just around the corner! THANK YOU, MS. CARLA!! And also for your comments about my envelope -- alas, I didn't take any scans of it and now I can't remember what I did (how embarrassing!) Can you send me a scan to refresh my blond head?

Journal Entry

2008-02-21T17:28:00.000-08:00

Soul weary, I am. "Rote" is the parasite in my limbs, killing my spirit. That drive out to the desert with Chris, Cam, Ciera and Mom reminded me there are more expansive vistas. I crave them -- internally, especially. I read powerful books on creativity [not just art, but LIFE], then I sit on the patio and kvetch in my journal and sit staring off into the sky. Is something new gestating within? Or am I really lacking oxygen here in a stagnant pond? I am awaiting fruit from this dry barren place.

Exhaustion

2008-02-21T05:50:00.000-08:00

The last 10 or 12 days have found me just -- exhausted -- in a spiritual, psyche, DNA kinda way. Can't stand to be in my journal, don't know what to do in my studio, frustrated by the dead-end stagnation of my professional life, just in one of those fallow, tide-is-out stages. I know it'll all surface again so instead of arguing with it, I'm just doing lots of reading, and sitting outside on our backyard patio watching the changing sky. [Googled image]

Here is my message from The Universe for today: "Ever notice, Antonia, that in the long run, those who don't eventually go "within," often go "without."

You got the power,
The Universe

Illustration Friday: THEORY

2008-02-20T05:19:00.001-08:00

Theory: "Men and women can't be friends."

Cardboard base, acrylic paint, cut-out silhouettes, alphabet stencils.

Thank You Card for Miss Melissa

2008-02-20T05:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up on last Thursday morning to a fresh rose tucked into the pottery jug next to my kitchen sink, a surprise from Sweet Melissa! Front of card - this is a template I pulled from the SBS weblog. I'm finding these templates to be SO helpful for me! And this is the front of the envelope. Miss Melissa is one of the most stylish women I know - I thought this lady cutout depicted that! Inside card, backside envelope.

Twin Hands & Feet

2008-02-17T18:43:00.000-08:00

Indoor-&-Outdoor Vignettes from C&C&C's Pad

2008-02-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

Gnomes

2008-02-17T17:57:00.000-08:00

At first, I became indignant and intended to phone the authorities to report my brothers for gnome abuse. But then this hearty fellow rolled over, groaned, and exhaled a plume of Jack Daniels' fumes, and I realized I was witnessing the aftermath of a serious gnome bender.

Cam, Chris & Ciera's Cat Posse

2008-02-17T17:42:00.000-08:00

Gimpy, so-named because Chris found him nearly dead in the desert with an infection so bad in one leg it was almost amputated. Gimpy is elegant but has a thing for My Lovely Mother's hair, to the point that was call him the Sofaside Hair Molester. Prince.
In memory of beloved Shabba, who died on Valentine's Day.

... then there were the rest of us

2008-02-17T17:20:00.001-08:00

The tously-haired Cam.
Chris and Ciera.
Hands!

My favorite photo, this group.

Ciera plays soccer in her Hannah Montana nightshirt.

David Beckham, Who?

2008-02-17T16:52:00.000-08:00

A footy (soccer) match in Peoria, Arizona ... and the surpassing talent of the day was the ONE, the ONLY, My Lovely Mother, who rocked the yard, the ball, the three of her 4 grown kids on the backyard 'pitch' (field), and her granddaughter, My Lovely Mother, who scored the winning goal. Bend It Like Beckham doesn't begin to cover it, so let the pictures tell the story!

After Fire

2008-02-17T16:41:00.000-08:00

Study: Blue Teapot

2008-02-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Ciera's World

2008-02-17T14:43:00.001-08:00

My Lovely Mother, and Ciera. Ciera's muse, the Snowflake, with her second favorite food - CHEESE (which happens to be Ciera's main fare.) Ciera, playing on the patio!
Ciera, in her idea of desert-exploring attire! With stuffed frog! The store of Ciera's dreams.
Ciera wants these. The Glitz and Glam room -- this store also hosts birthday parties, wherein the young princesses are served tea and, later, are made up in the Glitz and Glam room. Dress the part! Princess attire. irridescent beaded silk purses. Even Aunt Toni loves these. These dolls are downright frightening! Chris won't allow Ciera to have them. My favorite picture, this shoot: taffeta dreams. Mod bags, baby! A mermaid for Aunt Toni! Ciera, in her element! Ciera makes her purchases!
My favorite in the shop -- brown and turqouise, with fleur de lis. $52 for a piece of fabric that might fit one of my biceps. Eesh! Blimey! Shite!!! I think it's a good thing I didn't have girls. Cool kicks, man! Mom and Ciera building and decorating a house for the angels. On the bottom right, the red tray, is the swimming pool. This angel was drying her wings, having spent the morning in the pool. Ciera and Snowflake, inseparable. Ciera and the 'Flake.

The Arizona Desert (pictures for Mercedes)

2008-02-17T14:14:00.000-08:00

This is called an Apache Boot. It's the clay home built by birds on the inside of saguaro cacti. When the cacti die, and fall over, if you pull it apart these nests can be found. The bird enters through the little hole you see in this shot, but this boot is fairly well decayed already. Many of the more expensive tourist shops sell these after they've been sealed and varnished. When it's only 60 degrees outside, this is a wondrous place to be. But when it's 110, this is a different world entirely. It seems so much more like the stereotypical 'western' landscape when in black and white. My favorite shot today. An intoxicating, ever-changing sky. The desert vista, strangely green. The space really is this endless. Unusually green, due to rain the day and night before I shot this photograph. Cacti habitat. The desert can be heart-breakingly beautiful. Silhouettes of trees, and what appears to be a large nest. As beautiful as this may appear, this big nest-looking shape is actually a parasite, strangling/killing it's host tree. When a large cactus dies, it falls over and breaks off. This is a picture of one in advance decay. It's like a rope skeleton. Close-up on dead cactus strands. My Lovely Mother pointed out that it's very strange to see such a linear silhouette in the desert.
The sky, changing after a storm blew over. Lots of people go target shooting in the desert. I like to pick up the shells and line them up on my desk, put a feather or a small flower in them. Targeted-out. Just watch your step. Cow patties, and all!

M.V.G. - Most Valuable Grandma

2008-02-17T10:50:00.000-08:00

10 Minute Art

2008-02-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

Got Chalk?

2008-02-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

This just in from my bro', Chris: "I went with Ciera to gymnastics tonite (her Aunt Carrie usually takes her). Here is a crappy cell-phone picture. Ciera is in all-white with a small green skirt over white-leggings. It's a nice place ---- they've got all the gear. Big floor routine area with the springy floor. Beams, uneven bars, etc etc. They even have a big foam pit so they can practice their balance beam dismounts. The smell of chalk and all those leotards and funky funky floor routine music ------ I got MAJOR flashbacks from going to Toni's gymastics shows back in the 70s.

I bought Ciera a red leotard and shorts ("Got Chalk") and took some pictures when we got home. Ciera is amazingly coordinated. She is tall which puts her at a disadvantage ---- but I could not believe how athletic she is ---- on hard stuff like the uneven bars and balance beam."

TOAST

2008-02-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Toast -- my new favorite catalog -- I like their photos better than Anthropologie. They just emailed me their spring catalog -- here are my choices! Rose dress. Yummmmmmmm. Tibetan red espadrilles. My favorite shoe style of any. "Peg" bag ... also from their last catalog. I can justify the price for the bag, because I can't sew, but not the shipping. Sigh. I love it though! On sale from their winter collection. I just love this little nighty! Blanket that looks more soft than actually warm.

Illustration Friday: CHOOSE

2008-02-12T05:15:00.000-08:00

"Choose," the Gestapo officer told Sophie, so casually, so offhandedly. I've never forgotten this movie, never forget, either, that daily parents are forced by untold number of circumstances into this same position. Unconscionable. Vile. Inhumane.

magazine images, antique papers (German and ledger scraps), embossing powder, mica impressed with chicken wire stamp.

More Highballs High Heels Journal Pages

2008-02-11T06:27:00.000-08:00

Back Among the Standing

2008-02-11T06:21:00.000-08:00

What a dismal weekend -- Kevin and I were under blankies on the couch, or else napping, or else downing tea with lemon and honey. He's got a cough, which skipped me. I finally said f'get it and got busy in my studio yesterday afternoon, just cuz I couldn't stand to SLEEP anymore!!! And here I am at work and almost perky (NOT!) This card is for my SBS 11 sistah, Jo, who must email her address to me (antoniafufu@yahoo.com). And this one is for another of my SBS Sistahs, but I'm not telling who!! (grin)

Shout out to Kris-The-Banner-Wizard!!

2008-02-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

Kris designed my new banner ... wouldn't you know I left her blog address at work, but our very own SBS11 Sistahs Jeri and Veronica have it if you are in need/want of a blog banner. I was pretty lame in my requests -- an Eiffel Tower, a mermaid, my favorite quote, a harlequin pattern ... and she came up with this gorgeous piece. THANK YOU KRIS!!! I feel professional and polished, now, but so so true to 'myself'.

Ok, now I'm really off to bed.

Oogie

2008-02-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

Please excuse my boring post, & the silence to follow. Toni is sick. Toni is very very sick. Toni knows Toni is very very sick because she received the brand new Sheryl Crow cd in the mail yesterday, Detours, and hasn't even cracked the cellophane on it yet. Sheryl Crow is Toni's favorite musical artist (aside from Led Zeppelin, that is). Yes, Toni is sick. Toni is going back to bed now.

My Mood Today

2008-02-08T05:36:00.000-08:00

This photo is from Anthropologie's latest catalog [February 2008]. I really think if they created & marketed a "coffee table book" in the form of an annual collection of their catalogs, they'd make a fortune. I know I personally can't get enough of their imagery, props, clothes, all of it.

Anyway, this is an entirely 'Toni' kind of outfit, and since Anthropologie's prices unfortunately are out of my league, this is when my hunger to learn to SEW becomes acute.

~~~ Today being Friday, and payroll, I also feel myself get into a physically defensive sort of 'hunch' (like a linebacker before the toss) ... so this picture will be very soothing for me to refer to.

Surprise from Suzanne!!!

2008-02-08T05:29:00.001-08:00

This cheery fellow accompanied the wonderful surprise, below, sent to me by Suzanne. Suzanne is the kind of paper/scrapper/stamper artist I want to be when I grow up. The truly amazing part of all this is that I planned to stop by Walmart last night to pick up a new journal, as I finished my last one. I didn't stop cuz I had a stoopid headache trying to kick in and I wanted to get home to my migraine meds. I walked in the door and saw her package/name and BYE BYE HEADACHE!!! Hello Cheesy Grin All Over My Body!!! Thanks, Suzanne, I love it!!!

Altered Brochure -- Backgrounds Going In

2008-02-07T14:11:00.000-08:00

Journal Pages

2008-02-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

This notarial book has a leather-feeling cover. I wanted to use it for experiments with backgrounds and rubber stamps.

Tagged by Bridget & Jenn D.

2008-02-07T05:42:00.000-08:00

I'm going to really learn the nuances of my middle name ... hmmmmm ... but since I've already 'tagged forward' twice before, I'm just going to do my letters. My middle name, if you missed it, is ANTONIA. I LOVE that name and all the crew guys here at work call me that.

A = articulate - I can express myself under any circumstances, and sometimes in more than one language (depending upon how irritated I am!)
N = nasty - I do upon the very rare occasion also have a trench mouth (I'm so ashamed). Have gotten really good at curbing that, but sometimes ... ?
T = Tower - my favorite landmark in the world is The Eiffel Tower. I call it 'MY tower'. And I mean it. I'm just loaning it to the rest of ya. Don't forget it.
O = Ocean - my internal landscape, my favorite environment, where I want to retire
N = Neutral. In personal/human politics, in agitated situations. I'm the middle-woman, the negotiator, the peacemaker.
I = Innovative. Not meaning so much in the artsy way, but in my approach to life. I've moved a lot in my life, since childhood; it created a need for versatility, flexibility, resilience. Then it just became a life approach - "let's see what there is to see", everywhere I go.
A = Ancestors. I cherish my history, my ancestors, their traditions and life stories. I'm always and also fascinated by those stories from anyone, anywhere, which is why I love Clarissa Pinkola Estes so much -- the story-telling!

From The 'Hood - Growth Spurts & Interesting 'Other'

2008-02-06T18:16:00.001-08:00

My Favorite Photo Today: This reminds me of Tuscany in September. Today's First Runner Up Photo: Sweet winter-lit bloom. Reaching past the gate, lovely thing. I said hello, of course. I know lots of straight-haired women who pay good money for curls like this! Probably apropos in the courtyards of Parisian and Prague-ian dwellings, but in suburban Phoenix? Pfft, a bit overmuch if you ask me. Not that anybody did. "Art' imitates life? Same yard as that light fixture, believe it or not. Wowza. Dead cactus stump. Notice the 'honeycomb' effect inside? That's how those stalwart, sturdy things stay alive in this desert, hording water within. The woodpeckers could tell you all about that! Close-up, downed cactus stump.
Thorn silhouettes. Cactus, thorns, wires. Cacti and palm silhouettes. Tar graffiti? Pretty cool. Barely-there vine, slatted fence. Love the visual texture here, of course. I'm always drawn to weathered doors, windows, gates, shutters. Third Favorite Photo Today: gorgeous young palm frond, rustic black & white peeling gate.

From The 'Hood - Urban Decay & Sundry Other Subject Matter

2008-02-06T17:51:00.000-08:00

Downed bird. "Death that hath sucked the honey of thy breath hath had no power, yet, upon thy beauty." [Shakespeare] Downed cactus, as far as I'm concerned. Talk about a Christmas light crucifixion, geez! Downed leaves. This poor tree reminds me so much of Don King I had to keep it. Downed wall. Downed house. No sign of any work going on, either, for weeks and weeks now. Downed wading pool, cool octopus. My Lovely Mother just LOOOOVES octopus. [That's a lie. I can't lie to you. She won't go near them, even when presented as a gourmet delight in the heart of Tuscany. Octopus wimp, My Lovely Mother.] Downed rose bush, a little of that beautiful vintage pinkish-lavendar color still lingering. "Ashes of roses" - that's the color - they called Meggie's dress "Ashes of Roses' in that series, The Thornbirds. (the book was better) Downed oranges on gravel. You can tell the birds have been noshing here, too. Uh, so ... what do you suppose these folks are doing for fun in that backyard? I'm a little worried. Pods and grass shoots. I love pods. Have I mentioned that?

My Poor 'Invalid'

2008-02-06T17:48:00.001-08:00

Notice the new invalid pinkie gear? Notice how it leaves the thumb and first 2 fingers free for DVD control manipulation? Life is good.

And For Whimsy, & Moody Photos

2008-02-06T05:26:00.000-08:00

Please meet Czina. This blog, straight from Czech Republic, feeds my moody 'undertones' side but also fills me with giggles & fun ideas. Read down a little in her blog about the village festival where she and her friends dress in costumes and go door-to-door, offered a drink at each door! I have spent all night dreaming about that, about my costume, about how to re-create that via blogland ... her photography is perfection, too. This was an accidental blog-find, and now I find myself returning constantly. Hello, Czina!!!

Senorita Georgina Matic - Amazing Artist Discovery

2008-02-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

I found Georgina through Illustration Friday ... oh my goodness. I left her a comment; she left ME a comment; we both checked out each other's blogs -- there is just something about her art. And she's spunky and fun and so cool to write to! This is her other website, which shows her paintings, and all of these are breathing new life into my visions, my journal writings, everything. Unbelievable talent. I'm addicted. I'm just swimming all through her paintings, one by one, over and again, breathing them in.

Finished Canvas - Great Grandmother's Dress

2008-02-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

I've been dying to do something with a) this vintage flocked wallpaper Patty gave me, and b) this color palette. When I saw this image in Arts et Decorations magazine, I was there. The old ledger paper also came from Ms. Patty. The old black & white photo came from my work buddy, Greg. The canvas is roughly a 12" x 16" matboard base, which also came from Greg and his wife, Gwen. It pays to have artistic friends in high places! The tissue paper on the dress form is actually blank pattern-making paper, that I scored at Good Will. The layers of tissue paper float away from the base. I love that small movement in the piece. A favorite rubber stamp, bought after my second trip to Tuscany.

I Did It! I Did It!

2008-02-05T05:54:00.000-08:00

I did a bloody Bella card ... [oops! that's not a very nice word in the UK, is it? I apologize!] Had to remind myself I am 'tenacious' -- not a quitter, albeit possibly a whiner as I go. Then I had to go do a journal page, getting myself re-centered. Must have symbols: ocean (shells), mermaid, Paris (fleur de lis), open window or door.

An Amazing Office Visitation

2008-02-05T05:45:00.000-08:00

Look what visited our office last week! A 1929 Packard. My dream car. A moment of silence, please. I'm thinking, "Forget baritones with great cheekbones ... give me a shining artistic grille any day!"
What sleek lines! They don't make 'em like they used to, that's for a certainty! Toot Toot!

My New Secret (Sorta) Crush

2008-02-04T16:09:00.000-08:00

Baritone Erwin Schrott

No, I have not actually heard him sing. Ahem. Is that really necessary?

Do You Know Where YOUR Feline Is?

2008-02-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

This just in from my bro', Cam: He wrote: "The cats were exhausted after sleeping all morning. So they took a nap this afternoon."
From the left: Prince, Shabba, and Gimpy